Talk to your parents about the world they grew up in and you will soon find out how different it was from the world of today. They may talk to you about pre-internet days, where they were when the moon landed or how they left school at the age of 15 years old. So it shouldn’t surprise you that their viewpoint on pursuing your calling might be met with cynicism, worry and doubt. Whilst you may wish to change their mind, it’s not their job to believe in your dreams. It’s yours.
Parents will have strong opinions about the trajectory of your life
Your dreams can be naturally intertwined with the dreams of your parents. They raise you. They can see themselves as owning you, for example, ‘This is my daughter.’ and they can associate your achievements as their own. They may have projected out a fantasy whereby you’re graduating as a competent surgeon or taking over the family business. Yet if you do the inner work to decipher between your soul’s desire and what you’ve been told to pursue, you will tap into your own dream. Breaking the news to your parents and displaying an alternative dream to them can turn them into non-believers.
Parents have defined needs they want met for their children
How many of us have heard the worry in our parents' voices when they say, “I just want you to be safe.” Perhaps they have good reasons. Maybe they’ve seen others try to pursue their own business and it didn’t work out. Maybe they themselves tried to write a novel or pursue music as their own vocation but it never came to fruition. Whether or not they have good reasons, they have ordered the values for their child (in this case the value is safety) rather than allowing their child to decide for themselves.
This can be soul-destroying for individuals who love their family. So painful that many people completely forgo their life’s calling to appease their parents. Feeling guilt ridden at the thought of letting them down or anxious that if they do pursue their path that all the pitfalls mentioned by their parents are waiting to come true. Wishing and hoping that their parents would just believe in them and their calling – making their life easier. However the challenge presents a unique opportunity for a relentless self-belief to be cultivated.
Social media is riddled with the opinion that everyone you know should believe in your dreams
The common belief is that mum, dad, uncles, aunties, and any follower or friend you have on social media should support your vision. However when we are looking for others to believe in our calling, this is a sign that we ourselves do not believe. That we doubt our dreams becoming real.
Rather than wanting others to believe we have to convert and become our very first believer. Having others around us that doubt can become an exercise in self-conviction in our path. If we can pursue our path even with our parents doubting us, we become unstoppable.
Instead of seeking our parents validation for a life we don’t wish to live, we should seek our own validation first.
This doesn’t mean we don’t love our parents or can’t be supported by them. It means that we put our opinion of ourselves first. To truly do this we need to disagree with others and have self-trust that we know what’s best for our life. And if it doesn’t work out the first time or the second, it doesn’t mean our parents were right and we should get that office job. It simply means that we need to keep going – and keep believing. Because that strengthens our resolve. Whether others understand it or not, that’s beside the point. This is about you and the development of your own soul.
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